You know exactly what everyone else needs.
Ask what you need and you go blank.
You sit down for five minutes and
feel like you’re slacking off.
You eat the crusts.
You book everyone’s appointments but your own.
Your last “treat” was a new mop.
You’ve spent more years at war with your body than living in it.
And the second you think “what about me?”,
the guilt gets there first.
Here’s what nobody told you.
That guilt isn’t yours.
It was installed.
Somebody taught you that a good woman comes last,
and you believed them,
because you were a good girl.
You can uninstall it.
Choosing yourself isn’t a bubble bath.
It’s a decision.
Rest you don’t have to earn.
Food without a scoreboard.
A body you live in, not a project you fix.
Pleasure without asking permission.
Picture it.
A whole afternoon that’s yours.
Phone face down.
Nobody needing anything.
And no guilt.
Not a flicker.
You don’t become worth it once you’ve finally done enough.
You were born worth it.
At 40, at 60, right now.
Put yourself back on the list.
Right at the top.
Start with one honest no
Your first act of choosing yourself is one honest no. My free guide, How to Say NO, gives you the exact words.
Instant download. No spam, ever. Unsubscribe any time.
Sound familiar?
This is the shift we make together. Every tool on this page moves you from the left to the right.
Right now you’re saying…
- “I’m running on empty.”
- “I feel guilty just sitting down.”
- “I’m last on my own list.”
- “I can’t remember what I even like anymore.”
- “I should be on a diet.”
- “There’s nothing left of me.”
Soon you’ll be saying…
- “I’m rested.”
- “I sat down and didn’t feel guilty.”
- “I came first and the world didn’t end.”
- “I remember what I love.”
- “I don't need to shrink my body.”
- “I feel looked after. By me.”
Your choosing yourself toolkit
The tools are on their way
Journals and courses for rest, guilt and making peace with your body are being reimagined in the new brand. Start with the free guide and you’ll be first to know.
Coming soon
More tools on the way
New choosing yourself journals and courses are being reimagined right now. Grab the free guide and you’ll be the first to know.
Coming soon · The Be Fearless After 40 podcast
Listen while you do nothing at all
Audio-only episodes for the bath, the walk, or lying on the floor doing absolutely nothing. A series on choosing yourself is coming.
Your rules. Your life. Starting now.
The four pillars
Pillar
Setting Boundaries
From walking on eggshells to walking free.
You are here
Choosing Yourself
Put yourself back on the list. Right at the top.
Pillar
Building Confidence
You’re not too much. You’re just getting started.
Pillar
Breaking the Rules
Midlife isn’t a crisis. It’s a revolution.